Dinosaur French Toast

On Feeding My Kids Animals Long Thought to Be Extinct

The morality of it may be questionable. But listen, dinosaurs should be eaten. They will not hesitate to eat you... unless they are herbivores, of course... but aw Hell, it's survival of the fittest, y'all!

There are a few things that I never have to worry about my kids turning up their noses at, and Dinosaur French Toast is one of them. French toast in general is pretty much the same thing as eating dessert for breakfast, but in addition to that huge perk, Dinosaur French Toast is shaped like... you guessed it! Dinosaurs!

And let's not forget that along with keeping your body properly fueled (yadda, yadda, yadda), one of the important messages to pass on to our offspring regarding food is that eating should be about fun and pleasure too... and that sometimes that means having dessert for breakfast.

This is a no-brainer. It probably doesn't need to be said, I know. The recipe is a no-brainer too, and probably doesn't need to be written down and shared. But flying pteradactyls people, eating dinosaurs is something to get excited about, so I'm doing it anyhow.
I do have a very handy tip for you though... after you've used up most of that loaf of good, crusty bread for whatever original purpose you used it for, cutting shapes into the remaining slices that are starting to go stale and making French toast with them is a perfect way to avoid any of it going to waste. Save the scraps then rip them into little pieces, sauté them in a bit of olive oil, and use them as croutons for soups and salads as an added bonus. Okay, that is also a no-brainer. Just know that these are also tasty and fun for grown-ups and that if you have some sort of weird political thing against eating extinct animals, other shapes will work too.

Dinosaur French Toast

Yield: 2-4 servings, depending on the size of your cut-out shapes and the size of the bellies they are going into

• 6-8 pieces of good, crusty white bread that is beginning to go stale
• 2 eggs
• 2 T milk
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• cinnamon (optional)
• powdered sugar
• maple syrup or honey

1. Cut shapes in the bread using cookie cutters, or even better, let your kids do it while you watch.
2. Lightly mix together eggs, milk, and vanilla until well combined. Do not beat.
3. Heat a nonstick griddle over medium heat and dredge the shaped bread in the egg mixture.
4. Cook for 1–2 minutes per side until the egg is cooked through and beginning to brown slightly.
5. Transfer to a plate and sprinkle with powdered sugar and cinnamon if you like, then drizzle with syrup or honey.
6. Eat them before they eat you!

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